STEP 12

“HAVING HAD A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING AS THE RESULT OF THESE STEPS, WE TRIED TO CARRY THIS MESSAGE TO ALCOHOLICS, AND TO PRACTICE THESE PRINCIPLES IN ALL OUR AFFAIRS.”

1. Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from addictions as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail.  This is our twelfth suggestion:  Carry this message to other alcoholics!  You can help when no one else can.  You can secure their confidence when others fail.  Remember they are very ill (Page 89).

2. Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends-this is an experience you must not miss.  We know you will not want to miss it.  Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives (Page 89).

3. You will be most successful with alcoholics if you do not exhibit any passion for crusade or reform. Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection.  Show him how they worked with you.  Offer him friendship and fellowship.  Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do anything to help (Page 95).

4. He may be broke and homeless. If he is, you might try to help him about getting a job, or give him a little financial assistance.  But you should not deprive your family or creditors of money they should have.   Perhaps you will want to take the man into your home for a few days.  But be sure you use discretion.  Be certain he will be welcomed by your family, and that he is not trying to impose upon you   for money, connections, or shelter.  Permit that and you only harm him.  You will be making it possible for him to be insincere.  You may be aiding in his destruction rather than his recovery (Page 96-97).

5. Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn’t enough.  You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be (Page 97).

6. It is not the matter of giving that is in question, but when and how to give. That often makes the difference between failure and success.  The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God (Page 98).

7. Job or no job- wife or no wife- we simply do not stop using our addictions so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God. Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone.  The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house (Page 98).

8. Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family back. This just isn’t so.  In some cases the wife will never come back for one reason or another.  Remind the prospect that his recovery is not dependent upon people.  It is dependent upon his relationship with God (Page 99-100).

9. So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking or addictions, if we have a legitimate reason for being there (Page 101).

10. Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand.  Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed (Page 102).

11. After all, our problems were of our own making. Our addictions were only a symbol.  Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything.  We have to (Page 103)!

NOTES:

STEP 11

“SOUGHT THROUGH PRAYER AND MEDITATION TO IMPROVE OUR CONSCIENCE CONTACT WITH GOD, AS WE UNDERSTOOD HIM, PRAYING ONLY FOR KNOWLEDGE OF HIS WILL FOR US AND THE POWER TO CARRY THAT OUT.”

Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation.  We shouldn’t be shy on this matter of prayer. Better men then we are using it constantly.  It works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it.

“When we retire at night, we constructively review our day” (Page 86).

Remember – we read this every night!

1. Was I angry or resentful today? YES___ NO ___

2. Was I selfish today? YES___ NO___

3. Was I dishonest today? YES___ NO___

4. Was I afraid today? YES___ NO___

5. Do I owe an apology today? YES___ NO___

6. Was I kind and loving toward all today? YES___ NO___

7. Have I kept something to myself that should be discussed with another person at once? YES___ NO___

8. Was I thinking of myself most of the time, or was I thinking of what I could do for others, of what I can pack into the stream of life today? YES___ NO___

9. Did I drift into worry, remorse, or morbid reflections of the past today?

YES___ NO___

10. After making our review, we ask God’s forgiveness? YES___ NO___

11. Have I inquired what corrective measures should be taken? YES___ NO___

“On awakening, let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead.  We consider our plans for the day” (Page 86-88).  Remember – we read this every morning!

1. We ask God to direct my thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives?

2. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don’t struggle.

3. We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only.  We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends.

4. As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.”

IT WORKS, IT REALLY DOES.

We alcoholics are undisciplined.  So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined.

But this is not all.  There is action and more action.  “Faith without works is dead.”  The next chapter (Chapter 7, Working With Others, Pages 89-103) is entirely devoted to Step Twelve.

NOTES:

STEP 10

“CONTINUE TO TAKE PERSONAL INVENTORY AND WHEN WE WERE WRONG PROMPTLY ADMITTED IT.”

1. We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness.  This is not an overnight matter.  It should continue for a lifetime.

2. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them.  We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone.   Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.  Love and tolerance of others is our code.

3. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.  Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities.  “How can I best serve Thee-Thy will (not mine) be done.”  These are thoughts which must go with us constantly.  We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish.  It is the proper use of the will.

4. If we have carefully followed directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit in to us. To some extent we have become God-conscious.  We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense.  But we must go further and that means more action.

CONTINUE TO TAKE PERSONAL INVENTORY MANY TIMES EACH DAY AND TO SET RIGHT ANY NEW MISTAKES AS WE GO ALONG (Pages 84-85).

NOTES:

STEP 9

“MADE DIRECT AMENDS TO SUCH PEOPLE WHEREVER POSSIBLE, EXCEPT WHEN TO DO SO WOULD INJURE THEM OR OTHERS.”

Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past.  We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves.  If we haven’t the will to do this, we ask until it comes.  Remember it was agreed at the beginning, we would go to any lengths for victory over alcoholism (Page 76).

Consult with a member of your group.

1. a) The chances are that we have domestic troubles.
2. b) Most alcoholics owe money.
3. c) Perhaps we have committed a criminal offence.
4. d) Employer/business problems.
5. e) Character assassination.
6. f) Family

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.

1. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
2. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
3. We will comprehend the word serenity.
4. We will know peace.
5. We will see how our experience can benefit others.
6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
8. Self-seeking will slip away.
9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
10. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
12. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises?  We think not.  They are being fulfilled among us-sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.  They will always materialize if we work for them  (Page 76-84).

STEP 8

“MADE A LIST OF ALL PERSONS WE HAD HARMED, AND BECAME WILLING TO MAKE AMENDS TO THEM ALL.”

We have a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends.  We made it when we took inventory.

List from Step 4.  Add names if any have been missed in Step 4.

NOTES:

STEP 6

“WERE ENTIRELY READY TO HAVE GOD REMOVE ALL

THESE DEFECTS OF CHARACTER.”

We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable.

1. a) Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? YES___ NO___

1. b) Can He now take them all – every one? YES___ NO___

1. c) If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be YES___ NO___

NOTES:

STEP 7

“HUMBLY ASKED HIM TO REMOVE OUR SHORTCOMINGS”

When ready, we say something like this:

“My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad.  I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.  Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding.  Amen.”

We have then completed Step Seven.

Now we need more action, without which we find that “Faith without works is dead.”  Let’s look at Steps Eight and Nine (Page 76).

NOTES:

STEP 5

“ADMITTED TO GOD, TO OURSELVES, AND TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING THE EXACT NATURE OF OUR WRONGS.”

WHY WE TAKE THIS STEP:

If we skip this vital step – we may not overcome our addictions.  We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world (Page 72).

WHO WE TAKE THIS STEP WITH:

Though we have no religious connection, we may still do well to talk with someone ordained by an established religion.  We often find such a person quick to see and understand our problem.  Here everyone is welcome, is free to speak in absolute confidentiality, and is again unified by doing this step, as all the others, in the same manner as the rest of the group.

JOG YOUR MEMORY:

1) Write down the important things that you are not proud of that you cannot discuss with somebody else.

2) Ask God to help you remember and be willing to be honest.

3) Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods.  Almost invariably they returned to their addictions. (Page 72-73 “almost invariably they got drunk”)

4) Begin your step by saying “my name is x, and I don’t react well to fear, resentments, or sex problems because of my selfishness and self-centeredness (the root of my troubles).”

UPON COMPLETION:

Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done.  We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better.  Taking this book down from our shelf we turn to the page which contains the twelve steps

(Page 59).

Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last (Pages 75-76).

1. a) Is our work solid so far? Yes___ No___

1. b) Are the stones properly in place? Yes___ No___

1. c) Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation?

Yes___ No___

1. d) Have we tried to make mortar without sand?

Yes___ No___

If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Steps Six and Seven.

NOTES:

My name is                                                      and I don’t respond well to fear, resentments of sex problems because of my selfishness and self-centeredness (the root of my troubles).

STEP 4

“MADE A SEARCHING AND FEARLESS MORAL INVENTORY OF OURSELVES.”

RESENTMENT (Anger)

“Therefore we started upon a personal inventory.  This was Step Four…..First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up which caused our failure.  Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestations.

Resentment is the “Number One” offender…”(Page 64).

In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper.  We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry.  We asked ourselves why we were angry.

On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries. Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal, or sex relations, which had been interfered with?

We were usually as definite as these examples (We work from left to right):

“Jog My Memory List”

I’m resentful at:                                                           The Cause:

Family members                      Jails/police/etc              Being an alcoholic       Having no communication

School mates                            Friends                         Withholding sex           Threatens to leave marriage

Religion/churches                    Businesses                    Being rejected              Cheating

AA group/member                   Landlord                      Took the kids               Criticizes and nags constantly

Boyfriend/girlfriend                 Myself                         Being unreasonable      Threatens firing

Employer/fellow employees     Car drivers                   Lazy                            Thinks he/she is better than me

BEGIN LISTING RESENTMENTS ON THE FOLLOWING PAGE

Resentment

If we were to live, we had to be free of anger.  The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us.  They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison.

We turned back to the list, for it held the key to the future.  We were prepared to look at it from an entirely different angle.  We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us.  In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill.  How could we escape?  We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how?  We could not wish them away any more than our addictions.

This was our course:  We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick.  Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too.  We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.  When a person offended we said to ourselves, “This is a sick man.  How can I be helpful to him?  God save me from being angry.  Thy will be done.”

We avoid retaliation or argument.  We wouldn’t treat sick people that way.  If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful.  We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.

Referring to our list again.  Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes.  Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened?  Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely.  Where were we to blame?  The inventory was ours, not the other man’s.  When we saw our faults we listed them.  We placed them before us in black and white.  We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight.

Transfer names to Step 8 List, which is on Page 7.

FEAR

We reviewed our fears thoroughly.  We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them.   We were usually as definite as these examples:

Continue to add more fears that affect you, or delete the suggested Fears that do not affect you.

EXTRA FEARS CONTINUES…

Transfer names of people I have feared to Step 8 List.

SEX PROBLEMS

Above all, we try to be sensible on this issue.

We do not want to be the arbiter of anyone’s sex conduct.

We all have sex problems.

We’d hardly be human if we didn’t.

What can we do about them?  (Page 68, the Big Book).

We review our own conduct over the years past.

We were usually as definite as these examples (Please note that these examples are not in the Big Book):

To sum up about sex:  We earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for sanity, and for the strength to do the right thing.  If sex is very troublesome, we throw ourselves the harder into helping others.  We think of their needs and work for them.  This takes us out of ourselves.  It quiets the imperious urge, when to yield would mean heartache.

TURN THE PAGE AND BEGIN BY LISTING NAMES FOR YOUR SEX INVENTORY. REMEMBER TO TRANSFER NAMES TO STEP 8 LIST, WHICH IS ON PAGE 7.
Sex List:

Transfer names to Step 8 List, which is on Page 7.

KEEP THIS LIST FOR STEP 8.

Examples of our Faults

1. Character assassination 8. Keeping the kids away from him/her
2. Having expectations 9. Stop communicating and/or isolation
3. Running away 10. Poor response to criticism
4. Rejected him/her 11. Used sex to get what I want
5. Made promises I couldn’t keep 12. Started arguments and fights
6. Lie/Steal/ Cheat 13. When we used addictions
7. Used money to get what I want 14. Thinking you are better than
8. Holding on to resentments

STEP 3

How to take it: (Suggestions)

1. a) Take this step with a member of the group.
2. b) Read each question out loud, mark yes or no to each one; and
3. c) If you are convinced of each question, you will be feeling comfortable with Step 3, and should move to the next step.

What should I do if I’m not convinced?

1. a) Let a member of the group know of your problem. Review the step with him/her. Pin point the part of the step you are having problems with. BE HONEST!
2. b) Go back to the previous Step, perhaps the problem is there. “Am I sincerely convinced of Step 2?”
3. c) Read and re-read the chapter which carries the main thrust on Step 3, Chapter 5, “How It Works,” pages 58-64. Read it 100 times if necessary.
4. d) Go to as many meetings as possible hearing and listening for the words that will help convince

What I am convinced of when I:

“MADE A DECISION TO TURN OUR WILL AND OUR LIVES OVER TO THE CARE OF GOD AS WE UNDERSTOOD HIM.”

1. I am convinced that I must no longer make decisions that will affect others without first talking it over with someone else. I must no longer rely on my thinking; Pray and ask others for help. YES___NO___

2. I am convinced that the constant belief in a “Power greater than ourselves” that I found in Step 2 will give me the strength and inspiration I need to go on with the rest of the program of recovery. YES___NO___

3. I am convinced that half-measures or taking this program half-heartedly will avail me nothing. YES___NO___

4. I am convinced that I have to let go absolutely the thought of holding on to old ideas that are harmful to me and others. The result of my program of recovery will be nil until I let go absolutely (These ideas will be disclosed later in the program). YES___NO___

5. I am convinced that I must go on with Steps 4 through 9 if I am to re-create my life and Steps 10, 11 and 12 will give me the tools to live each day comfortably without addictions. YES___NO___

6. I am convinced that I have to develop a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty with myself and others. YES___NO___

7. I am convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. YES___NO___

8. I am convinced that “selfishness—self-centeredness!” is the root of my troubles.     Self-centeredness means excessive thought of self whereby my total energies are spent trying to maintain me and get me what I want. YES___NO___

9. I am convinced that driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. YES___NO___

10. I am convinced that at some time in the past I have made decisions based on self which later placed me in a position to be hurt. YES___NO___

11. I am convinced that I have to quit playing God. It didn’t work.  Playing God, means trying to run the show at home, at work and socially. YES___NO___

12. I am convinced that hereafter in this drama of life, God is going to be the Director. He is the Principal, we are His agents. YES___NO___

13. I am convinced that the following prayer I am going to say out loud with a person who understands is said with all the honesty I can muster at this time.  YES___NO___

“God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.  Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.  Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.  May I do Thy will always!”

Next we launched out on a vigorous course of action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted.  Though our decision was a vital and crucial step it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us.  Our addictions were but a symptom.  So we had to get down to causes and conditions.

NOTES:

Lyrics

I Wanna Fly by Erron Ranville

I’m going to lay my weight down at your feet
And rest here for a while
I’m feeling low, Lord I feel defeat
I feel I’ve just walked my last mile
So I’ll rest here for a while
I’m hiding from the street

I’ve been to church, Lord I’ve been to school
But I couldn’t find You there
But I defied them, I broke all the rules
I just didn’t seem to care
When I couldn’t find You there
Oh Lord, I’ve been a fool

I wanna fly like a free bird flies
There’s a blue sky calling me
Then I know that I’ll always be
In the shelter of Your smile
You are with me all the while
Waiting patiently

Some call it karma, some folks call it fate
They say one day you’ll understand
When you’re down its all one big mistake
Lord I finally understand
You can take me by the hand
And lead me all the way

I wanna fly like a free bird flies
There’s a blue sky calling me
Then I know that I’ll always be
In the shelter of Your smile
You are with me all the while
Waiting patiently

I wanna fly like a free bird flies
There’s a blue sky calling me
Then I know that I’ll always be
In the shelter of Your smile
You are with me all the while
Waiting patiently

In the shelter of Your smile
You are with me all the while
Waiting patiently